The Anti-Worrying Formula

Lest we yearn for the nostalgia of the past, Dale Carnegie wrote: "How to Stop Worrying and Start Living" in 1944. I love this book because:

• book covers don't look like this anymore • it smells like a used book store • "millions have overcome the worry habit" after reading it • Dale Carnegie's author photo reminds me of my grandfather • it's loaded with good advice. Chapter Two is titled: "The Magic Formula for Solving Worry Situations."

Too good to be true? It isn't.

Step I: Analyze the situation fearlessly and honestly and figure out what is the worst that could possibly happen. Step II: After figuring out what is the worst that could possibly happen, reconcile yourself to that worst thing. Step III: From that time on, calmly devote time & energy trying to improve upon the worst which you have already accepted mentally. Yes, it does take thinking time to make it happen... You will have to engage in the process... but it works. I have seen it work when... • the principal leaves you a voice mail that includes the words "your son" and "titty twisters" • when the Uber to the airport doesn't show for your two-day vacation • when your spouse loses her job (and her computer was taken off her desk while she was getting fired) • when your aging parent calls with a new health issue. You can use this magic with kids also but try a slightly different approach: Step I: Listen, listen, listen to what they are worried about. Really listen. Even when they go on and on. Step II: Then ask calmly: "Is the world going to end?" Then listen again. (They will try to convince you that the world is going to end.) Step III: Remind them that historically, for humans, the world has not ended. Usually, the world will not end. (And if they are old enough, remind them if the world does end, their concern probably won't matter anymore). Therefore, think of the worst & work backward. Thank You, Dale Carnegie! So, what do you think: • is worrying just a BAD HABIT? • can you train yourself not to worry? Let me know! * Jen *And apparently, you like Assessments! Therefore: 1. What is your biggest worry right this moment? (Doesn't matter: Big or small.) 2. Test it against Carnegie's Magic Formula... 3. Did it work? Why or why not? Jennifer Quasha Deinard, ACC ICF Certified Professional Coach ICF Certified Grief Coach www.jotcoach.com Transforming Lives Jot by Jot (203) 912-4277 text/cell